| Down that cory rabbit hole we go... |
[Dec. 8th, 2009|10:13 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | books, music, punk, rant | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Kitchen table | ] |
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| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Death cab for cutie, Iron and wine, ace enders | ] |
I used to mind
That everyone I know
Seemed to hate themselves
But I do it as well - Anthony Green
I will say this, and listen well young children, Anthony Green's solo album is possibly one of thee most underated albums of all time, and really is one of the best of the decade. It's a soft true emo masterpeice with a rough edge that blew me away. I personally hope Circa Survive never make another album so he can make solo shit forever and ever. The album came out in late 2008 and was kind of grouped with Craig Owens Solo project that was realeased around the same time (Craig Owens is the lead VOX of the band Chiodos and a few others for those who don't know, and his solo band is called the cinematic sunrise). At first I was looking more forward to Owens solo record, which by all means is a decent record too, but Anthony Green unleashed an emotional powerhouse of a record that deffinatly stood above a lot of other albums that came out recently.
The webcomic is up and going good. I feel useless on it because I have really done nothing yet. Still, we are all professional now and stuff. Our own server, forum, updating schedule... it's serious buisness telling the poop jokes the way we do. Anyways...
http://diy.lankyland.com/
And join the forum to talk about everything.
http://diy.lankyland.com/forums/
I got nothing but randomness for you today.
In the role playing game world, there are things called critical hits. I know almost everyone who reads this indeed knows this fact and is probably wondering why I am explaining this. Hey, I am just being cautious that someone who isn't a complete nerdy fuck like all of us visits the site. Well anyway as most of us know, critical hits happen when a normal attack that you launch hits an enemy for more than usual and they are usually fucking life savers to say the least. I only beat the elite four in the first pokemon game because my moltres hit a critical, and when I used to table top I was always saved by a critical hit by rolling a twelve on my twelve sided die. They are usually completely random in the video game world. You just choose a normal attack on an enemy and blammo, twice the damage you normally do on a normal attack. Of course you can also miss which does no attack at all, which can result in playstation controlers or 12 siders flying through the wall, trust me. Anyways though, the critical hit exists in probably 99% of rpg games, it never goes into detail on what made the hit critical... did the monster suddenly give up it's juggular or something? Sometimes the sound the attack makes sounds louder, it goes from "crack" to "CRIZZACK!" but still, it does nothing to show why this attack decided to kill the enemy quiker. The main reasons I wanted to talk about critical hits though is that I find them dated, well not really them themselves but the term critical hit. So recently I started playing the classic super nintendo RPG secret of Mana. It's a terrific game that was very revolutionary and innovative, even more than fifteen years after its release. Anywho, the game also has critical hits but they don't call it a critical hit, oh no sir, they call it something much better. When running around and launching an attack and critical happens, they call it "getting whacked!" Getting whacked is much more epic than a critical hit in my oppinion. It states it like "______ Gets whacked!" so depending on what you are fighting it's particularly funny. If you are fighting a mushroom it will say "mushroom gets whacked!" and if you are fighting a knight named bobby it will say "bobby gets whacked". This got me thinking though, games could make it something even more epic. Whacked is good but lets say you really rip into a bad guy, it could say "mushroom just got mutha fucking bitch slapped!" Come on game companies, lets get creative here.
"A leap year (or intercalary year) is a year containing one extra day (or, in the case of lunisolar calendars, a month) in order to keep the calendar year synchronized with the astronomical or seasonal year". That's what wikipedia says about them. So I was thinking the other day, as I so often do... why do they call it leap year? To leap something means that you skip-over something and leap years don't skip anything, they fucking do the opposite. They add a day! Somebody told me it's because the year only comes every four years, so it's skipping (or leaping) years and that's where it came from. Well wouldn't that make every year but the actual leap year the real leap years? Because the leap year it self is the only one not leaping but insted adding? I demand we either re-name leap years "add on years" or we name the three years actually leaped the leap years. Let's correct this for everyones bennifeit and so Cory can sleep insted of thinking about random shit like this.
Living in the desert people are swimming pool crazy as you can guess. Everyone has a pool, and there are intense pool discussions going on around me all the time. One thing that I have learned just from eaves dropping is that above ground pools just aren't as cool as in ground pools, no matter how cool and big the above ground pool is. Why this I don't know, coolness to me, and the popular oppinion of the majority have long been on to opposite ends of the "coolness" spectrum. Take my super cool Harry Potter Slytherin shirt I got on now, it's cool to me but to the majority... let's just say if I was back in hgh school I would be laughed at and ridiculed. So why certain things just arent cool I will never understand. Anyways back to the pools... My girlfriend pulled up to the vet clinic she works at to get her check last week and in the parking lot adjacent to hers, there is an above ground pool retailer. I asked my girlfriend "are all they do is above ground pools?" She responded that she couldn't tell by looking at them, and indeed they could have gone either way, which got me thinking that most pools can go either way regardless. What I mean is this... if you got a above ground pool and you want it in the ground... buy a fucking shovel and dig a hole. It's not to difficult honestly.
"Say john, I see you got a new above ground pool..."
"Only till I dig a hole and put that bitch in the ground!"
Truth be told, if I bought a five dollar Cheap plastic walmart Elmo pool, I could put that shit in the ground, and then I would be a fancy pants wouldn't I?
I think I have finally gotten pickles(the actual food, not the drummer from Dethklok or anything) figured out. Me and pickles have had battles over the years. Sometimes I hate them and sometimes they taste ok, but I have always been very iffy about eating them if they're not in a salad or something. Just a second ago I ate a big valasic dill pickle. It tasted ok but in the middle of eating that crunchiness I had a epiphony... it's the fucking juice I love! Pickle juice is amazing tasting! It's zesty and just tangy enough to make it amazing. My question is... do they just sell pickle juice? That would be a product I would buy for sure.
Do you know what I hate? The snuggie. It's just a stupid pointless invention that prooves why people hate americans, because we buy shit like this, and 300 dollar dog water purifiers. The snuggie, for those who don't know, is a cheap blanket with sleeves in it so you can grab shit or whatever. The first time I saw it I was laughing to myself. "Who would be stupid enough to buy this shit!? It's just a robe turned backwards!! We smart americans are not this idiotic" Well wouldn't you fucking know it, here I sit and the snuggie is going strong and everyone has one. The regular blue snuggie wasn't enough for us though was it? Oh we are fucking americans, we like different colors and choices, because we wouldn't want our snuggie to not match our drapes sofas! So they soon made the snuggie in every color imaginable. Then they started going way to far...
Sports snuggies? SPORTS SNUGGIES!? Oh yes, lets cash in with corporate greed! And let's get outragous while we are at it too...
Hey, americans love their fucking dogs. Shit most dogs have better lifes than the people do anyway, so why not a snuggie for your little yapping bastard. So the snuggie craze pisses me off more than anything, but it hit a new low with what I saw a few days ago...
Band snuggies. We have reached an all time low in this country of ours people. Weezer was the first band to do it, so fuck them for that, but to be fair, I know they won't be alone. I few bands have also announced their snuggie's coming soon, and others will follow and so on and so forth. Eventually it will be anything, any product, any company, any damn marketable item under the sun will have itself a snuggie. That may be the day I purchase a flame thrower and enough ammo to burn everything down.
Sometimes I hate myself, and then I hate myself for hateing myself. One thing I been hateing myself for a lot recently is liking CD's by band I know I should hate. Case in point would be Panic at the disco's Pretty Odd album. The band I always kind of bitched about for reasons I don't know now that I think about it. I think it's because they were making it big in a softer rock scene back when all I cared about was shit that was "punk" as fuck. I mean if a band wasn't a scummy gutter punk crust band, I thought they were crap. Panic at the disco's first album and the first singles were alright to me at best(I Just listened to it all yesterday). I don't really hate it, it's just very basic sounding to me now. Back in the day I would always bitch about it hardcore, but I never was really to bothered by it. Another fact I may have done the bitching that I neglected to mention thus far was because they are a band from Las Vegas, and bands from Vegas (here were I live) I tend to judge twice as hard. So skip forward and I am a completely different person and I am very accepting of everything and I stopped bitching at music for the most part. I picked up the pretty odd album from one of my CD burning sprees I went on at the library back in the summer of 2008. I never thought much about it other than to give it a shot. My ears where in for a fucking treat that I did not expect. The album took the modern rock aspect of the first album, and threw it out the window. This album sounds like a straight up Beatles record! Bubble gum rock that's catchy, Indie, and fucking sing songy. I must admit that I voted for it on the first MTV woodie awards as album of the year, which it so deservingly won. It is a masterpeice of an album that I recomend to everyone who is a fan of good music and songwritting.
After that last topic, I feel my street cred slowly diminishing. Do I even have anymore left? God I hope not. Well if I did it's going to drain out with after the next topic.
Litrature... I love litrature. Comics, books, webcomics, shit man I love to read ingrediants thats in this here green tea I am drinking. So I would like to take a second to talk about the ten best book's I read this last year. I narrowed it down to just graphic novels and books because to go any deeper would skew the list to current comics completely. These books are just the books I read this year, not pariticularly books that came out this year, so keep that in mind.
10: Napalm and Silly Putty By George Carlin- The late, great comedian wrote this book back in the year 2000, and it was basically a book of all his stage jokes, short stories and what-nots, but even though he spoke most of it in his stand up it's still well worth the read. Carlin's observations are terrific and humorous to say the least.
9: Rock'n roll cage match by various - Pretty much a book of articles that pits two bands or singers that are alike, and asks a professional writer who they think wins. Just an interesting take on music. The cure VS The smiths was particulaly great.
8: The Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer (there goes that street cred mentioned above...) - Yeah that's right, I fucking said it and I am not ashamed. I read all four books this year mostly to see what the hype was about, and I was actually surprised by a very interesting series. Is it going to cure cancer? No, but for your basic love story premis it is very well told. Read them before you shit on them you hipster fucks out there!
7: Reinventing comics By Scott McCloud - The scott McCloud "sequential art" books have been a comic medium staple for a long time now, I just got around to reading all three of them this year. I enjoyed them all a bunch but the second book of the three was the most revolutionary to me. He really broke boundaries with this book.
6: I hate your guts By Jim Norton - Another Comedian article book, this one hits like a raunchy porno to. Jim Norton (some may know him from The Opie and Anthony Radio program on XM) is a dirty filthy man who wrote a book all about people he hates. It's a simple premise that somehow manages to be hillarius and smart at the same time. My favorite part was at the end of every chapter, after he shit all over someone, he included obscure ways for the said people to better themselves.
5: Haunted By Chuck Palahnuik - Palahnuik is a genius, that's all there is to it. The man can write a story about anything and make it brilliant. This is pretty much a very R-rated cantabury tales. A tale of a group of incarcerated people who each tell a story while incarcerated. The book is extrememly grotesqe and graphic. A must read.
4: Likewise By Ariel Shrag - Possibly one of my favorite indie books of all time. Areil Shrag's autobiography graphic novels are amazing. Her stories of growing up a teen in the mid-late 90's in Berkely are amusing, funny, heart felt, and terrific story telling.
3: Portions of a wine stained notebook By Charles Bukowski - Finally got around to reading this and I am glad I did. Bukowski is kind of an enigma to people now. Deffinatly a alcoholic, he seems like a person who isn't real but more of a make believe character. Like shakesphere before him. This collection book is depressing and yet so interesting. The book inspired so many people in so many different mediums its amazing.
2: Luba By the Hernandez Brothers - The Hernandez brothers know how to tell a story that's interesting, and they know how to make charaters that you'll never forget as well. This book is like a fucked up soap-opera, with a deep, emotional twist. It's almost an erotic peice, but inbetween the drawn boobs, the everyone sleeping with each other, and the crazy characters, you find a story with a lot of heart that can make you laugh and cry.
1: Zot! By Scott McCloud - I wasn't expecting a masterpeice when I picked this book up, but thats what I got. Scott McCloud masterfully took a story of a teenage superhero and made it into something much more than I could ever have dreamed up. It's a story of love, teen life, and it even throws in some social commentary. The book is... simply put... beautiful. Stories like this is why I read. I was sad that this collection was the whole series because I never wanted it to end. I can't recomend this enough.
I'm off to play games. Chiao.
-Cory "zero street cred" McFall |
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